I haven't lost my marbles, I never had any to begin with!

A whole week of not going to bed till at least 1, either working nearly every minute of that or working on homework, cramming for tests, AP tests, english projects, history assignments, behind in french, laurel president, teaching primary, stress about europe, friends showing sides you didn't think they had, guilt, sadness, near wrecks, essays, disappointments, lies, deceit, odd happenings, working late hours, no food but popcorn, no chance for exercise, friends disappointed in me..... gosh, I hope this gets over with soon, I don't know how much I can handle.  And to all those who have all this and more yet still survive and enjoy life: good job, I applaud you.

You know what I've discovered?  I hate ........... emos.  Well, I dunno.  I guess I've never really met and talked to a real emo.  Maybe I have and I'm just dense.  ANYWAY, I've decided people that just complain all the time about everything and never express joy for anything are miserable and depressing and absolutely no fun to be around.  It makes you depressed to hear about their lives.  Everybody has good things that happen to them.  Even if it really does seem like your life is going down the drain and absolutely nothing is going right, you don't have to have a sour attitude about it.  Just take it as life comes.  Your friends all left you?  Think of it as you're better off without them, and find new friends that won't leave you.  Didn't make choir? (I was in this point last year... maybe again this year, who knows)  Yah, maybe you don't have the best voice in the world.  Who cares?!  If you enjoy singing, do you really need a choir to help you?  No.  Just do it on your own!  Have fun!  Just discovered your longtime crush doesn't have the slightest interest in you?  Eh who cares, if they're not willing to waste time on you don't waste your time on them. 

Haha, yah I'm in a good mood.  I love being in a good mood.  They should like make happy pills so everyone can be like this.  Wait, there already are.... but I'm not on them.  Trust me.  It's all the natural highs, baby.  Ya know what?  In my favorite words of Villarta, "isn't life just a b*** sometimes?"  Wow.  Mrs. Villarta, I love you.  I think I want to put that as one of my 100 quotes for English but I'm not quite sure what Davis would think about that.  Yah know, I think I'll put it in there anyways, cause Villarta's awesome.  I can't stand what I learn in that class, but the teacher herself... wow, she's amazing.  She really is.  She cares about you and what's going on.  When I was in my depressed phase (which I am SOOO over now!  woot!) and feeling way sick, she noticed.  SHE was the one that asked me if I were feeling alright, even in the middle of our test.  I think it was her that made me realize I needed to turn my life around.  I think I was just waiting for someone to notice me.  That sounds really lame now that I think about it.

Anywho, I'm running off on random tangents... about Villarta of all things, haha.  btw, fyi, lshmaicgits (Lets See How Many Acronyms I Can Get In This Sentence), all that stuff I said about complaining all the time and not ever seeing anything good in life?  I know I'm contradicting myself.  I have been like that for a lot of my life.  But I realized, I don't want to be like that.  Thats miserable, its no way to live life.  Look for the bright things.  Even in the darkest room there's a light.  Is that a real quote?  It should be.  Or something like it.

I'm off.  Happy days everyone!

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yah, i need a life

amazing how much things can change in one day.... somebody slap me and wake me up to reality, ok? thanks.

indeed, valentine's day is tomorrow.  and though i may have a special someone, he'll be off at college so i won't be able to see him alyssa invited me to her yw cause it's combined and the guys are in charge, i think i'll go to it and see how it is because chances are if i don't do that i'll be stuck at home with myself with nothing but a computer to entertain me, haha.  eh maybe i'll call him.  i don't know if he'd call me.  i don't know anymore.  i guess he likes someone else too, and by the way he was acting yesterday it was starting to appear that he didn't like me anymore... i got 3 hugs from him.  trevor flirted with me more than him.  lol that's just a weird thought.  i'm probably overanalyzing things, like girls usually do.  i don't really know why i'm worrying about it anyways cause it's my fault i told him i felt like we should just be friends... but there's friends with benifits, isn't there?  bleh.  i'm done, i'm not going to worry about it anymore. (ha that's what i always say... then the next day it starts again)